A Lord’s Desperate Love Part Five ~ A Historical Romance Story

A Lord’s Desperate Love

A Historical Romance Story

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

None of the inns remembered a blond-haired, blue-eyed woman staying on her own or even passing through. How could anyone forget the vibrancy Violet carried with her?

Perhaps she had not stayed here.

Perhaps she had not come this far at all and left the post-chaise further back.

Geoff was sitting at the table in the private parlour he’d hired to dine. He rested one elbow on the table and his hand gripped his forehead. He needed to think. If she was not staying in an inn, perhaps she’d rented a property here. Perhaps she’d been planning this for ages and their affair had only ever been a finite thing. Maybe she had just forgotten to mention that fact to him.

Tomorrow he would check with rental agents.

Leaning back in his seat again, he lifted his ale and then sipped from it. Damn the woman.

“Your meal, my Lord.”

He’d not heard the maid enter. A sign of how distracted his thoughts were, no doubt. The inn’s staff probably thought him mad.

He ate the meal, but the food tasted like ashes. He felt as though his body was frozen in time. He was only waiting out the hours until his search could start again.

When he went to his room, he undressed to sleep, but sleep only came in fitful patches. His eyes were open at sunrise, and he got up and dressed, then walked the quiet, empty streets of Bath until it was a suitable hour to start calling on the property agents.

He crossed the Pulteney Bridge and walked back into the city at nine, heading for the Pump Room first. Yesterday he’d checked for Violet’s name in the register, today he was here to ask the master of ceremonies for a list of all the letting agents in the city.

He left the Pump Room with the list gripped in his fisted hand. Today was a new day. He was going to find her. If he could not believe that, then what the hell was he doing here?

It was just like yesterday, though, when he’d walked about the inns, every agent he went to denied knowledge of a lone blonde woman.

When the bells of the Abbey chimed at four past midday, he still had no lead. No one remembered a vibrant blonde, with blue eyes.

Geoff remembered her. Her company was all-consuming. How the hell could she have simply vanished? But what if she had come here to meet a man and she was not alone at all. Had she simply moved on from him?

Damn!

The pain of that thought bit at his heart.

He’d had a conversation with Robert in a coffee-house in London a couple of weeks ago, when Robert had been searching for the woman he was now married to. Robert’s agitation then had been palpable, and Geoff remembered watching his friend with no understanding… now… God… now he knew how Robert had felt then.

If Geoff had just opened his mouth a month ago and spoken the words he should have said, I love you, then he would not have had to bear this anguish. He should have offered for her. But she’d always made it clear to her men that her interest was only in a bed and nothing more. He hadn’t found the courage to try her, to see if that had changed. Fear had gripped his chest with a cold hard sense of steel each time he’d thought of speaking. If she’d wanted nothing more, then she’d have withdrawn from him and left him with nothing at all.

Yet when he’d taken her to bed her gaze had held his, her eyes glowing with something far more than a physical connection. No other woman had looked at him like that. Surely her views had changed.

Her words on the very first night he’d slept with her almost two years ago came into his mind. “You understand, Sparks, this is just what it is, I shan’t expect commitment or any such nonsense, I do not want you falling at my feet one day.” He could hear her laugh as she’d said it, as she’d stripped off his shirt.

Her hooks had slipped into him that night, he’d felt the barbs even then. They’d kept pulling him back to her bed. He’d just been one of her hoard of casual lovers then. But he’d enjoyed her company, and admittedly her sex. Then this summer he had tired of that role, and he’d stopped playing the game her way. Instead he’d asked her to dance and invited her out. It had won him the sole occupancy of her bed. The pleasure of that knowledge warmed his blood even now. He’d liked having her lean on his shoulder, and grip his hand possessively. He’d liked her.

Then his likes had turned to more, his deeper feelings gathering as a storm. He should have spoken. That was his error.

He would now… When he found her… If I find her… He’d tell her what he felt. He’d offer her marriage and pray she’d accept.

But if he found her with another man, what then? Then he’d walk away with a crushed heart, that was what. Even now he could feel it waiting to break in his chest. Like it was porcelain, and any jolt would shatter it.

She’d rip it out of his bloody chest if she took another man now. He was in love with Violet Rimes, the bloody Merry Widow, of all the people to fall for.

The last agent on his list was in Queen Street. He walked beneath the arch from Trim St, into the narrow cobbled back street which ran parallel to Milsom Street.

The agent’s was the fifth door up. His name was engraved on the front door.

“Mr Harrison?” Geoff spoke as he entered.

A short, thin man rose from his position behind a desk. Another man sat at a smaller desk in the corner.

“May I help you…?”

“Lord Sparks… I am seeking –”

“Property, my Lord.” The man immediately turned to gather some papers.

“No, no, not property, I am looking for a lady who may have rented a place locally in the last couple of days. Lad…” He nearly said her name, but instinct suddenly warned him not to. If she was running from him, would she use her name? “A lady with striking blue eyes, the colour of a summer sky, and blonde hair like gold. I believe she was alone.” He hoped she was alone.

The man looked at Geoff with wide eyes which then turned sly and suggestive. The man had seen her. Thank God! “Did she rent from you?”

“And who is it who asks? I should not divulge –”

“I am her brother…” An utter lie, but he’d do anything to find her. “She is in need of protection and I am worried for her?”

“And she is running from you, so she cannot wish for yours, my Lord,” The man’s voice rang with condescension and disbelief, but as he spoke he held out a hand.

Geoff understood and reached for money, withdrawing a note from the roll clipped in his pocket.

The man took it, looking down with a grin. Then he looked back up at Geoff. “Mrs Mayer took a property in a village a little out of Bath, in Lacock.”

Mayer? Geoff’s heart pounded. Was it her? It was the only lead he’d had, he had to follow it.

“Which street, what number?”

The man just smiled. “It was organised by another agent. His office isn’t open for two days, he’s gone away.”

Tiredness washed over Geoff, he was sick of facing dead ends. This was like navigating a bloody maze. It was a game of chance.

When he left, he walked out into a white mist. Fog. The cooler air of night had fallen and it felt cold and bleak. Autumn had turned to winter. He couldn’t even go tonight now, not in this. He’d have to leave in the morning.

~

Today Jane’s contemporary story ‘I Found You’ is available to download in the UK for just 99p here

A Lord’s Desperate Love is the  story of two of the characters from the 2nd book in the Marlow Intrigues Series ~ The Passionate Love of a Rake.

The true story of a courtesan, who inspired The Illicit Love of a Courtesan, which I’ve been telling every Sunday, will continue alongside this.

Jane Lark is a writer of authentic, passionate and emotional Historical and New Adult Romance stories.

Click here to find out more about Jane’s books, and see Jane’s website www.janelark.co.uk to learn more about Jane. Or click  ‘like’ on Jane’s Facebook  page to see photo’s and learn historical facts from the Georgian, Regency and Victorian eras, which Jane publishes there. You can also follow Jane on twitter at @janelark

A courtesan’s agreement of inconstancy – also called revenge

Harriette_Wilson00Last week I promised to tell you more about Harriette’s enforced agreement, to let Meyler see his frenchwomen, if he equally allowed her to see others, but at that point, their promise of inconstancy had not survived as they ended up pulled together again by attraction within twenty-four hours. But…

Before I tell you though, here’s the usual recap of the background for this series of posts, if you are joining the story today, and if you’ve read it, then as always skip to the end of the italics, where I have begun the story in bold.

In 1825 Harriette Wilson, a courtesan, published a series of stories as her memoirs in a British broad sheet paper. The Regency gentleman’s clubs were a buzz, waiting to see the next names mentioned each week. While barriers had to be set up outside the shop of her publisher, Stockdale, to hold back the disapproving mob.

Harriette was born Harriette Debochet, she chose the name Harriette Wilson as her professional name, in the same way Emma Hart, who I’ve blogged about previously, had changed her name. Unlike Emma, it isn’t known why or when Harriette changed her name.

She was one of nine surviving children. Her father was a watchmaker and her mother a stocking repairer, and both were believed to be from illegitimate origin.

Three of Harriette’s sisters also became courtesans. Amy, Fanny and Sophia (who I have written about before). So the tales I am about to begin in my blogs will include some elements from their lives too.

For a start you’ll need to understand the world of the 19th Century Courtesan. It was all about show and not just about sex. The idle rich of the upper class aspired to spending time in the company of courtesans, it was fashionable, the thing to do.

You were envied if you were linked to one of the most popular courtesans or you discovered a new unknown beauty to be admired by others.

Courtesans were also part of the competitive nature of the regency period too, gambling was a large element of the life of the idle rich and courtesans were won and lost and bartered and fought for.

So courtesans obviously aspired to be one of the most popular, and to achieve it they learnt how to play music, read widely, so they could debate, and tried to shine in personality too. They wanted to be a favoured ’original’.

The eccentric and outspoken was admired by gentlemen who liked to consort with boxers and jockeys, and coachmen, so courtesans did not aim for placid but were quite happy to insult and mock men who courted them, and demand money for any small favour.

The night that Harriette met Meyler, her current on-off lover, at the opera, and came home with him again despite their agreement of inconstancy, he told her that the next day, he was to be presented at court by Lord Ebrington, a very old flame of Harriette’s – and Harriette saw an opening to get control of their relationship again.

‘What do you think of His Lordship?’ I inquired.

‘He is one of the handsomest, most sensible, and distinguished looking young nobleman in Europe,’ Meyler replied.

‘Very well, I am glad you like him, and I am glad he is here; because, if you treat me too ill, or again mortify me by saying you are sick of my constancy, and wish nobody was constant in the world, alors, vois-tu, on peut se consoler.’ (then how can you offer comfort in two places at once)

‘Point de tout, (a minor point)’ answered Meyler, ‘for, of course, if Lord Ebrington had any fancy for you he would prove it. I am not such a vain fool as to believe any woman breathing would have me, or remain an hour with me, if she could be even tolerated by Lord Ebrington.’

‘Now Meyler, pray, don’t go out of your way to provoke me. You cannot, nobody can, or ever did imagine I would stay with a man whom I disliked, merely for his money: and further, what pleasure do you find in striving to wound and humble my vanity thus, as if I was and had been constant to you from necessity alone?’

‘I did not say you could not get others. I know to the contrary. I only said what I firmly believe, which is that, were you, this very night, to send a note to Lord Ebrington, inviting him to your bed even, he would not come.’

Thus did this provoking creature delight in teasing me, and the next half-hour he would seem passionately devoted to me.’

So how did this end… Well for the first month they lived separately in Paris, they were both happy. Meyler went everywhere and was often busy, leaving Harriette to enjoy a life of parties, masquerades and balls which she did not mind until… One night, one of Meyler’s friends, informed Harriette that in the hours of their separation, he’d been extremely busy fulfilling his promise of inconstancy,  living ‘a most dissipated life, and made up to at least half a dozen Frenchwomen in a week.’

Angry, hurt and disappointed, Harriette cried off her planned entertainment that night and went home, to sit at her window, and watch Meyler’s door to observe his coming and going. When she saw his carriage, she sent a servant over with a note, begging him to come and visit her.

He obeyed my summons in very ill humour, declaring that I made him feel as though he had a net thrown over him, and that it was impossible to be happy without perfect liberty.’ Before this Harriette had been with a man who had treated her like porcelain and idolized her, and so Meyler’s attitude cut at her vanity and pride, and also her heart, because I believe she really did have feelings for him, and of course she was in a foreign land, away from her sister, who she could have gone to for comfort.

‘Meyler’ said I, almost in tears, ‘I wish all the world to enjoy perfect liberty, and you must admit that, generally speaking, it has been my request that you only remain with me while my society is pleasant to you; but this night I am unwell, and my spirits are greatly depressed by what Mr Bradshaw has told me. You know I am not a likely person to wear the willow, or be long unhappy, if you have ceased to prefer me to all other women; but, this night I would entreat and consider it as a favour, if you would remain with me for an hour.’

‘Can’t you enter into the secret of my temper?’ said this most provoking little man in his usual impressive, slow way. ‘Can’t you understand that, were you to make it your particular request that I should sit down on that chair at the very moment when I was about to do so, it would the very reason why I should determine against it.’

‘Common delicacy, such as is due to yourself as a gentleman,’ I continued, ‘might induce you not to wound my pride, or insult me by leaving me, at the moment when I have every reason to believe it is for the purpose of visiting another woman; one, two, of that class which is even unsought by any Englishman who may fall in their way. This had been told me by your friend; but if you will give me your honour that such is not the case I will believe you.’

You are not my father-confessor,’ answered Meyler roughly, and then ran downstairs, got into his carriage, and drove off...’

Well, as Harriette says, ‘anger now took the place of tenderness.’ She had given him a chance to redeem himself he had not taken it, and she could sit at home and cry over his mean unfaithfulness, or she could get even. And it had doubly kicked that she believed some of the women he was unfaithful with were plain prostitutes, who Harriette deemed much lower than herself.

Harriette chose vengeance. ‘I thought only on the person who might be most likely to inspire Meyler with jealous rage and envy.’ Of course the best way to do that, would be to prove his words about Lord Ebrington, who Meyler admired, wrong.

Harriette wrote to him,

‘MY DEAR LORD EBRINGTON

You and I made each other’s acquaintance when I was very young, and soon parted. By mutual consent we cut each other’s acquaintance. Yesterday I saw you looking remarkably well. You were in Meyler’s barouche. You have sense enough to love candour, and, when women mean the same thing, you have the same respect for them, whether they go a roundabout way to work, or straight-forward. In a word then, I am willing to renew our acquaintance, believing it just possible that, if you were tired of me long ago, when I was quite a different sort of person, you may like me now; while, at the same time, I may be less afraid of you than I was formerly. Qu’en pensez-vous? (What do you think)

Answer:

Will ten o’clock this evening suit you? If so, I shall have much pleasure in visiting you.

So assignation and revenge planned.

Revenge is sometimes sweet, even to the most forgiving lady, when the manner of it is not too desperate. Ebrington came. He was then particularly handsome and sensible, and his manners were gentle, shy, and graceful almost as those of Lord Posonby himself. Few women could have disliked a têtê-a têtê with Lord Ebrington. The thing was scarcely possible, supposing he had been in the humour to make them like it.’

Harrriette was up front and honest with him, she says she told him that she had invited him, only because Meyler was being unfaithful.  ‘I paid his vanity a wretched complement, he said: but still he should have been proud to have accepted my invitation under any circumstances.’

Harriette says, when she had been with Ebrington previously she had not been confident enough to come out of her own shell, and he had been too shy to draw her true self out, but now when they spoke, she enjoyed his conversation, and it made her very aware how uncommunicative Meyler was, he was not a person of much conversation apparently and what conversation he did have was not very informed. ‘Moreover, at this instant, I had good reason to believe the provoking little reptile was actually in the arms of some frail, very frail, Frenchwoman.’

‘I asked Ebrington, while we were taking our chocolate the next morning, in my very gay, luxurious dressing-room, how he came to be so cold a lover at a time when I was certainly handsomer and in the very first bloom of my youth.’

‘I cannot account for it,’ answered Ebrington; ‘but, since you love candour, I will tell you that you did not then inspire me with any warmer sentiment than such general admiration as one cannot help feeling towards any fine girl. We met by accident, and soon parted, I believe without much regret on either side.’

‘Since that,’ continued Ebrington, ‘I have heard of nothing but Harriette Wilson wherever I went. I could not help wondering what Ponsonby or Worcester had discovered in you that was so very charming, and yet could so entirely have escaped my observation.’

‘You vile, impertinent monster!’ interrupted I. 

‘Never mind, dear Harry,’ continued Ebrington, ‘for I love you dearly now.’ 

‘And I like you twice as well as I did six or seven years ago,’ I retorted.

‘Very complimentary to us both,’ said Ebrington, ‘In fact, you are now exactly what I always liked. Formerly you were too shy for my taste… Nothing can be so gratifying and delightful to my feelings, as the idea of having inspired a fine woman with a strong, irresistible desire to make me her lover…’

He stayed with Harriette until two in the afternoon, and agreed to return that evening. But then Meyler returned half-an-hour after he’d gone – and as was usual for their relationship, having previously fallen out, he returned all smiles and kindness.

My dearest Harriette,’ said he, ‘I confess Bradshaw told you the truth. I have been intriguing, since I came to Paris, with almost every Frenchwoman I could find. Que voules-vous? (What can I do about it) It is the nature of the animal. I am not  naturally sentimental. Frenchwomen, being a great novelty to me, inspired me for the moment; but I could never visit any one of them a second time. So much the contrary, that I ran away from anyone I had once visited, when I met them in the streets, with feelings of the strongest disgust. Last night has cured me of intriguing with Frenchwomen.  I returned home more in love with you, dearest Harriette, than ever. In short, I was dying to see you, to kiss you, and ask your forgiveness on my knees: but it was too late your house was shut up, and I dared not disturb you.’

Too late Meyler 🙂

You will never disturb me again,’ answered I, very quietly.

‘What do you mean.’

‘I have seen Lord Ebrington.’

‘What! When we passed your house in my barouche.’

‘I am not so platonic as to have been satisfied with that. No, I sent for him: but you know you affirmed that I might do this with safety, since you were sure he would not obey my summons. Qu’en pensez-vous actuellement? (What do you think now)’

‘Pray,’ said Meyler, trembling from head to foot, ‘put me out of suspense.’

‘Je ne demande pas mieux, je t’en réponds, (There’s nothing I would like better, than to explain the meaning)’ answered I, ‘only’ and I looked at him as I advanced towards the door for safety, ‘only promise not to beat me nor break my head.’

‘Nonsense! Pray, pray don’t torment me.’

‘Why not? You felt no remorse in vexing me, last night.’

‘Yes, indeed I did, after I had left you.’

‘And of what service was that to me, think you? However, I never wished to deceive you nor any man. Briefly then, I beg to inform you that I sympathize with you in your love of variety, and you will, I am sure, give me credit for excellent taste, when I inform you that I have made a transfer of my affection from you to Lord Ebrington, who passed the night here, et qui doit faire autant ce soir. (to flout you by sleeping with  me). 

Harriette had expected anger, but his answer was despair, he really hadn’t believed she would be inconstant. He actually cried tears, and got down on his knees to beg forgiveness. ‘You have a good heart, Harriette,’ said he, ‘and whatever my faults may have been, I now sufficiently punished. My health, as you know, has been seriously affected lately. I therefore implore you to send away Lord Ebrington and give me one more trial. I will be as constant and as attentive to you as you can possibly wish.’ 

He would not leave her, even when it came to the dinner hour he would not go, but stayed to plead his case refusing to leave, and then it went past eight, and Harriette expected Lord Ebrington to arrive at nine.

‘Meyler,’ said I to him at last, just as the clock was about to strike the hour of nine, and I was in momentary expectation of seeing Lord Ebrington enter the room, ‘since you have stayed here so long, and appear really annoyed, I will not turn you out of the room to admit another man.’

I then hastily scribbled a few lines of apology to Lord Ebrington and handed it to my woman.’

And so Harriette and Meyler were back on again, but Lord Ebrington, ‘seemed at least to respect and love me. He was handsome, accomplished, of high birth, and not quite turned thirty,’ and so Meyler now had some serious competition, and there was no way Harriette was making any promises not to see him again. Let Meyler prove his constancy first.

More next week 🙂

Jane Lark is a writer of authentic, passionate and emotional Historical and New Adult Romance stories.

Why not also read A Lord’s Desperate Love the story of two of the characters from The Passionate Love of a rake which Jane is telling for free here, access each part on the index of posts. 

Click here to find out more about Jane’s books, and see Jane’s website www.janelark.co.uk to learn more about Jane. Or click  ‘like’ on Jane’s Facebook  page to see photo’s and learn historical facts from the Georgian, Regency and Victorian eras, which Jane publishes there. You can also follow Jane on twitter at @janelark