Lady Caroline Lamb’s whole disgraceful truth… Part twelve ~ Married into a love match!

The last time I wrote about Caro, it was to tell you about William Lamb’s proposal, in the middle of a mourning period for his brother at the moment he became heir to his father.

The wonderful thing is that unlike the majority of Caro’s and William’s family, they were in love. His proposal letter made his feelings very clear to Caroline, and many years later William is recorded as telling none other than Queen Victoria that “I do believe if I had been refused, I should have died of it; it would have killed me...”

Likewise Lady Caroline’s family recorded how smitten Caroline was and how torn they were. Lady Bessborough, Caro’s mother, Harriet, saw William as hedonistic, (as if she could talk) but he promised to reform and abide by the will of his potential future mother-in-law. Harriet consulted her sister Georgiana, who described in a letter to Lady Spencer, their mother, how upset Harriet was over Caroline’s choice… and yet Caroline was adamant that she loved William Lamb… “such evidence of the most boundless attachment, that I really believe-so does the Duke, that any check would be productive of madness or death…”

So William and Caro were equally obsessed, and madly in love….

But before I go on, for people new to my blog, here is a little background to this series of posts, and for my followers, just skip to the end of the italics where I have, as usual, marked it in bold 😉

I was drawn to Lady Caroline Lamb, who lived in the Regency era, because Harriette Wilson the courtesan who wrote her memoirs in 1825, mentions the Ponsonby and the Lamb family frequently. Also the story of Caroline’s affair with Lord Byron captured my imagination. Caroline was also a writer, she wrote poems, and novels in her later life. I have read Glenarvon.

Her life story and her letters sucked me further into the reality of the Regency world which is rarely found in modern-day books. Jane Austen wrote fictional, ‘country’ life as she called it, and I want to write fictional ‘Regency’ life rather than simply romance. But what I love when I discover gems in my research like Caroline’s story is sharing the real story behind my fiction here too.

Lady Caroline Lamb was born Caroline Ponsonby, on the 13^th November 1785. She was the daughter of Frederick Ponsonby, Viscount Duncannon, and Henrietta (known as Harriet), the sister of the infamous Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire.

Caroline became an official lady when her grandfather died, and her father became Earl of Bessborough earning her the honorific title ‘Lady’ and she grew up in a world of luxury, even Marie Antoinette was a family friend. Caroline was always renowned as being lively, and now it is suspected she had a condition called bipolar. As a child she earned herself a title as a ‘brat’, by such things as telling her aunt Georgiana that Edward Gibbon’s (the author of The Decline and fall of the Roman Empire) face was ‘so ugly it had frightened her puppy’.

And when she grew up Byron once described Caroline as “the cleverest most agreeable, absurd, amiable, perplexing, dangerous fascinating little being that lives now or ought to have lived 2000 years ago.”

When Caro and William obtained the final agreement, there is another little true life tale which is a brilliant story to reflect on when I write. Instead of encouraging William to come to the Bessborough’s house to press his suit, Caro asked him to meet her and her family at a performance of Hamlet in Drury Lane. A visit to the Theatre then was not as it is now, and I have written about that before, people met friends there and talked through entire performances, so this is not an odd request from Caro. William would have probably knocked on the door of her family’s Theatre box, and from the descriptions, I imagine him sitting next to Lady Bessborough,who was the one to be persuaded, whispering about his affection for Caro, and making promises of faithfulness, and promising he had the funds to keep her well. His conversation and manner were described as “warm and animated.” You can imagine him using hand gestures and leaning forward expressing his commitment and strength of feeling, and his eyes and his tone of voice probably showed the level of his affection for Caro.

Harriet felt pressured to say yes, and yet the final thing that clinched it was that Caro and William had chosen a public place for what was obviously a very personal and very emotional conversation to any onlooker, and with Lady Bessboroughs, and the Duchess of Devonshire’s reputations for infidelity, and the Lambs reputations for rakishness, it was assumed by some that Caro and William were in the middle of an affair… and so Harriet immediately declared that they were engaged…

That night when Harriet and Georgiana returned to the Devonshire’s town house, they shared Caroline’s news with the Marquess of Hartingdon, ‘Hart’, Georgiana’s only son, who had always believed he would marry Caroline, he was so distressed that she’d chosen someone else he had to be sedated.

The next morning William arrived at Cavendish Square, sure of his success and the family’s agreement, and made his formal request to Lord Bessborough – see again – so much in Romance novel’s is not written as it is in true life – most of us have the call on the father coming first… This is why I love researching through letters and memoirs, you obtain such a rich, real perspective, and you will see this slipping into my books more and more. Caro’s and William’s life has loads of influence on my next historical, but back to Caro.

Her mother’s, her aunt’s, The Duke of Devonshire, and her father’s consent achieved, there was one more person to persuade, ‘I listen for the postman’s knock (who knew the postman knocked in the 1800s 😉 ) with cold hands, and indescribable anxiety. Your peace of mind is I know so connected with yr. dear gdmama’s happiness‘ (that is his abbreviations not mine, the Victorian’s introduced absolute adherence to consistent grammar and spelling 😉 ) The Georgriana’s wrote as they wished – love those people – so much simpler for those of us with dyslexia.

But anyway, of course Caro wished for Lady Spencer’s approval, she had brought Caro up as much as her mother, and Caro was very fond of her.

Clearly William had written and was awaiting an answer, but the family came to Caro’s and William’s assistance. Caro’s brother John (the John who later was the man Harriett Wilson the courtesan fell in love with – society was really not that large), Caro’s uncle Lord Spencer, and Lord Morpeth (Little G’s new husband) all called to add their voice to praise William as Caro’s choice. “The are all wonderfully afraid of my sentiments.” recorded Lady Spencer, describing this barrage of persuasion to a friend.

Finally Caroline visited herself, with a now resigned Hart. “The Dr child was on her knees the tears streaming from her eyes & repeating that she wd not marry without my consent.”

Her grandmother was not convinced, and said she would not approve the match, and challenged the requirement for her consent, saying it was hardly necessary anyway as it was settled.

Caro then read her a letter from William, promising to devote his life to making Caro happy. Lady Spencer conceded only to accept the marriage, and only to accept William once he had proved his affection for Caro.

The Queen and the Prince of Wales approval was given then, and then the special licence was acquired from Archbishop of Canterbury and as all the preparations rushed forward, for fear of another war with France, Caro stayed with her mother at Holywell House, while William lived at Brocket Hall and road the half hour between the two daily to visit Caro.

The night before the wedding the Devonshire’s held a party honouring Caroline, and she received gifts from her family, a burnt-topaz cross from Harryo, bracelets from Hartington, a pearl cross from her Uncle’s paramour, Bess, and Little G (now nine months pregnant) gave Caro an aquamarine clasp and some wrought gold amulets and cameos… While William took an opportunity to give her grandmother a portrait of Caro to dig a little into her affections, which earned him some credit.

Then it was the day of the wedding. They were married in the Bessborough’s residence, No. 12 Cavendish Square, on the 3rd of June 1805, and Caro’s wedding dress was beautifully described by her aunt Georgiana. It had fine lace sleeves, and lace high-up around her neck, giving it an Eastern appearance. She wore one strand of pearls, and under her veil the aquamarine clasp that Little G had given her at the party. Caro is described as looking ‘light and beautifull’ as she walked steadily to join William, and exchanged her vows without hesitation. (A scene directly from a romance novel, but TRUE, how wonderful).

But after the wedding the emotion of the day became too much for Caroline. She loved her family just as much as she loved William, and then to add a beautifully romantic real scene to the end of today’s post, how did William react when the day became too much for her – he is described as walking through the noisy crowd surrounding her and simply picking her up. Then he carried his prize, his petite little Caro whom he loved, and had waited to claim for four years, out to their waiting carriage…

😀 ❤

And so next week the stories of their married life begin…

But if you can’t wait for Regency stories, then grab one of my books many of them are currently on offer in the UK from 69p and in the USA from $1.99 and there are couple of little extras for free…

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Lady Caroline Lamb’s whole disgraceful truth… Part eleven ~ The Proposal

As I said last week, fate began to play a new hand in Caroline’s life at the end of 1804. William Lamb’s older brother Peniston became seriously ill, he was dying of consumption and William grasped his moment to propose to Caroline. but before I tell you the tale, here is the background to this series of posts, as always and if you have read it before please skip to the end of the italics where I have marked the type in bold.

William had been harbouring a desire for Caorline for years by this point, and he must have seen other suitors lining up for their moment to offer. Caro was from one of the most renowned and oldest families, and her family were even considering a match with a prince… So William grasped a chance to offer for her now, at least knowing he would likely become a peer.

Caroline refused him, though.

As Peniston became more seriously ill, William’s mother scandalously allowed his mistress to stay in their family home, to give him some comfort. He died on January 4th 1805, leaving William the heir to the Melbourne title and fortune. This however was not a straightforward step, because William was illegitimate. Peniston had been Lord Melbourne’s only legitimate child, and although Lord Melbourne had given his wife’s other sons his name, he knew they were not his. He therefore refused to recognize William as his heir in any unofficial capacity, even though to the world William was his son… (So you see the other way these high status families managed their copious by-blows, they either passed them off to others, or persuaded husbands and wives to treat them as legitimate)

While the Lamb family were creating scandal and enduring sadness, Caro’s family were spinning up a storm of scandal as usual. Caro’s mother wrote to her lover about a letter, sent to Caroline, which contained ‘every gross, disgusting indecency that the most deprav’d imagination could suggest‘ and in case Caro should not understand the innuendo, the author had explained everything in detail… What was worse was the letter contained details which indicated that the person knew the family, and it referred to a conversation Caro had participated in with her aunt Georgiana. The rest of the family went on to be bombarded with horrible letters, and even worse an editor from the Morning Post showed Harriet letters that he received on a daily basis pouring out scandal about the family. It was then that Harriet recognized the writing as one of her former lovers.

Harriet and Georgiana in the end silenced the author by publishing a response in the paper…

Shame to the pen whose coward poisons flow

In secret streams with baneful malice fraught

That emulates th’ assassin’s Midnight blow,

by hate directed and my vengeance wrought.

Yet generous mind the name will ne’re reveal,

Tho’ known! nor deign a stigma to impart,

But leave the dastard miscreant to feel

The conscious pangs of corrupted heart.

That letters did cease not long after this was published.

Meanwhile, eventually, Lord Melbourne was persuaded by his wife to settle an allowance on William and recognize him as the future Earl, but instead of setting an allowance of £5,000 on William, Lord Melbourne only allowed him £1,800 – yet that was enough for William to provide for a wife and so on May 1st he repeated his proposal to Caroline.

‘I have loved you for four years, loved you deeply, dearly, faithfully – so faithfully that my love has withstood with firm determination to conquer it when honour forbade my declaring myself – has withstood all that absence, variety of objects, my own endeavours to seek and like others, or to occupy my mind with fix’d attention to my profession, could do to shake it‘

His heartfelt words convinced Caroline to plead the acceptance of her parents, and on the 2nd of May Harriet wrote to her lover.

‘I have long foreseen and endeavoured to avoid what has just happened – Wm Lamb’s proposing to her but she likes him too much for me to do more than entreat a little further acquaintance on both sides, (that line make’s me wonder if the only reason Caro refused the previous year was on the advice of her mother – she says further) and not have this declared immediately, which precludes all possibility of retreat. In some things I like it. He has a thousand good qualities, is very clever, which is absolutely necessary for her; and above all she has preferred him from childhood, and is now so much in love with him that before his speaking . I dreaded it affecting her health. But on the other hand, I dislike the connection extremely. I dislike his manners, and still more his principles and his creed,or rather no creed. Yet to her his behaviour has been honourable and his letter is beautiful.‘

I love that Harriet criticizes his principles… when we KNOW hers… But I also love that she thinks his letter beautiful…

The story continues next week… Yes, I am going to leave in suspense until then…