‘Free as Air’ – a courtesan’s agreement of inconstancy – in denial of the feelings of her heart

Harriette_Wilson00As planned Harriette went to Paris ahead of Mr Meyler, accepting the escort of a friend Lord Frederick Bentwick, who drove her to Dover. But then she, her servant woman, as well as one of her nephews travelled on alone. She hired some ‘handsome rooms in the Rue de la Paix,’ and began sight-seeing with her nephew before Meyler came. But before I share what happened next, as always, here’s the recap on the history of this series of posts, and for those who’ve already read this, skip to the end of the italics.

In 1825 Harriette Wilson, a courtesan, published a series of stories as her memoirs in a British broad sheet paper. The Regency gentleman’s clubs were a buzz, waiting to see the next names mentioned each week. While barriers had to be set up outside the shop of her publisher, Stockdale, to hold back the disapproving mob.

Harriette was born Harriette Debochet, she chose the name Harriette Wilson as her professional name, in the same way Emma Hart, who I’ve blogged about previously, had changed her name. Unlike Emma, it isn’t known why or when Harriette changed her name.

She was one of nine surviving children. Her father was a watchmaker and her mother a stocking repairer, and both were believed to be from illegitimate origin.

Three of Harriette’s sisters also became courtesans. Amy, Fanny and Sophia (who I have written about before). So the tales I am about to begin in my blogs will include some elements from their lives too.

For a start you’ll need to understand the world of the 19th Century Courtesan. It was all about show and not just about sex. The idle rich of the upper class aspired to spending time in the company of courtesans, it was fashionable, the thing to do.

You were envied if you were linked to one of the most popular courtesans or you discovered a new unknown beauty to be admired by others.

Courtesans were also part of the competitive nature of the regency period too, gambling was a large element of the life of the idle rich and courtesans were won and lost and bartered and fought for.

So courtesans obviously aspired to be one of the most popular, and to achieve it they learnt how to play music, read widely, so they could debate, and tried to shine in personality too. They wanted to be a favoured ’original’.

The eccentric and outspoken was admired by gentlemen who liked to consort with boxers and jockeys, and coachmen, so courtesans did not aim for placid but were quite happy to insult and mock men who courted them, and demand money for any small favour.

Harriette had said before she left for Paris, that she and her current lover, Meyler, had not once argued before her departure, since they had agreed to not live together but just call upon one another. But when he arrived in Paris, he was in a contrary mood again.

We are free as air, you know, my dear,’ said Meyler, on the very first night of his arrival in Paris. ‘I have been most true to you for more than two years, nor am I tired of you now, in the least; but never having had an intrigue with a Frenchwoman, and being here, for the first time, of course I must try them, merely for fun, and to have something to talk about. You know a young man with thirty thousand a year must try everything, once in his life; but I shall love you the better afterwards.’

‘A delightful plan,’ said I, striving, with all the power of my mind, to conceal my rage and jealousy, ‘provided it be mutually followed up and I can conceive nothing more agreeable than our meeting about once a week or so, and passing a day together, for the sole purpose of hearing each other’s adventures.

Go Harriette! She so knew how to play the man at his own game now 🙂

But the man was not to be daunted or threatened. ‘Oh, nonsense! mere threats,’ said Meyler. ‘I don’t believe you will ever be inconstant. You are, in fact, too constant for Paris. One has enough of all that humdrum stuff, in England. I am sure I have had enough of it, for the last two years, and begin to wish there was no such thing as constancy in this dirty world.’

I could have almost murdered Meyler for this insulting speech; but pride made me force myself to seem of his way of thinking.

Where are you staying?’  I inquired with affected carelessness.

‘At the Hotel de Hollande, exactly opposite your own door,’ he replied.

‘Never mind,’ said I, ‘I shall not have time to watch you.’

‘What are you going to do this evening?’ Meyler inquired, growing uneasy and more in love , as he began to believe in my indifference.

Meyler then tried to pin her down. When Harriette said she was attending a party with a new female acquaintance, an Italian lady. He asked for an introduction. She refused him. ‘Why no, not so, that would be too cool a thing to do, till I know her better.’

‘Tomorrow morning then, I suppose, you are to be found, in case I should not otherwise be engaged, at about two.’

‘Why no, not so, for my carriage is ordered at ten in the morning, and I shall be out the whole of the day, with a French party, seeing sights.’

‘Where shall I see you then?’ said Meyler, vexed, fidgety, and almost forgetting his project of making up to Frenchwomen, since the chief enjoyment and zest of such a pursuit was expected to arise out of my jealousy.

I think Harriette is again telling the story today not me, I don’t need to add to it 🙂

‘Why, really, Meyler, this plan of as free as air, which you know you proposed, is so decidedly to my taste that I cannot sufficiently express to you my obligation. I began to wish, with you, there was no such thing as constancy in the world, particularly when I recollect how very Darby and Joan-like we lived together in London; but I dare say we shall meet at the opera, towards midnight, and if we don’t, never mind, love,’ said I, kissing my hand to him, as I went towards the door.

‘Where are you going then?’ asked Meyler.

‘To a party, in the hotel, to whom my Italian friend presented me yesterday. Au revoir, mon voisin.’ (Good-bye, my neighbour)

I had acted my part well, and satisfied my pride, but not my heart. No matter. It won’t do to play the game of hearts in Paris, and, wherever we may be, we must take the world as we find it.’

Harriette was disappointed by the French men, who favoured women under twenty, so she found no one to exact her inconstancy with there…  But the next night she met Meyler again…

‘I did not see Meyler again till the following evening at the opera, when, being both tired of shamming more indifference than we really felt, we went home together.’

More on their newly agreed inconstancy next week 😉 …

Jane Lark is a writer of authentic, passionate and emotional Historical and New Adult Romance stories.

Why not also read A Lord’s Desperate Love the story of two of the characters from The Passionate Love of a rake which Jane is telling for free here, access each part on the index of posts. 

See below on the side bar for details of Jane’s books, and Jane’s website www.janelark.co.uk to learn more about Jane. Or click  ‘like’ on Jane’s Facebook  page to see photo’s and learn historical facts from the Georgian, Regency and Victorian eras, which Jane publishes there. You can also follow Jane on twitter at @janelark

A Lord’s Desperate Love Part Three ~ A Historical Romance Story

A Lord’s Desperate Love

A Historical Romance Story

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

No, no! Of course he could not. But where was he to go then? He didn’t know any more.

If Barrington was in town Geoff could go there to talk things out with Robert, but he was not. No one else would understand. Except perhaps Geoff’s elder sister. But he could not call there and wake her husband and her household at this hour.

He left in a daze. His walk home felt like a dream. When he reached his bachelor apartments in St James, he wasn’t even sure how he’d got there. He lay on his bed, without undressing, a hand on his brow as his alcohol addled brain tried to think everything through.

When he woke it was ten in the morning, and his brain felt no less confused than the night before. The very first thought in his head, was, why? The second, where?

Desperation turned his stomach as he dressed. How had he got so caught up with Violet. He’d never expected to get tangled up with a woman, not like this. Yet Violet’s web had wrapped about him this summer and caught him fast.

Why had she cast him out of it so suddenly? I don’t understand.

When he left his apartment he did not know where he was heading, but then his feet took him in the direction of her solicitor’s office. Surely Mr Larkin would know where Violet had gone.

Geoff’s attitude had changed since his assault on her house last night. Last night he had been angry. Today, when he entered the solicitors, he was downtrodden and desolate. He had no expectation. He felt lost. She’d ripped his damned heart out. She’d gone.

It was laughable really. All summer Violet had been busy threatening Lord Barrington with a hard countenance, because she believed Barrington would break her friend’s heart. Now she had done it to him.

“Mr Larkin,” Geoffrey acknowledged as he was invited in to the office.

The man stood and smiled.

Geoffrey had not mentioned why he’d come yet. He could not find the words.

“Do sit, my Lord. How may I help?”

Mr Larkin wouldn’t even know there was a connection between himself and Violet. After all they’d only shared an intrigue. He had no rights regarding her – no right to interfere in her affairs – except that he loved her, and he’d thought she’d tumbled into loving him too. It had not been by design. It had just happened. One night of pleasure had become two, then three and four, and then, and then… he’d hated being separated from her.

Damn her. There was a hole in his chest without her here, and it was painful.

Geoff took a seat facing the solicitor feeling like a gullible idiot. He had been used and discarded – while he’d thought himself happy beyond any expectation.

God, was this what his friend Robert had gone through when he’d dropped out of Oxford all those years ago. Insanity threatened at the edge of Geoff’s conscious thought, he was too anxious, he’d be admitted to Bedlam in a month if he did not get a hold of this internal ranting.

“My Lord,” Larkin prodded.

Geoff sighed. “Look Larkin, I know you manage Lady Rimes affairs for her. She’s left town unexpectedly. I wondered if you knew –”

The solicitor sat back in his chair, frowning, as Geoff spoke, then cut in. “I cannot reveal another client’s details –”

“I know that but –”

“There is no but, my Lord.”

Geoffrey slid forward, to the edge of his chair, with an urge to force the man to listen. “I am worried for her, Larkin. She’s disappeared without a word. When… when I would not have expected it. Something is a foot, something seems wrong. Just tell me where she has gone so I might see her and know all is well?”

Mr Larkin leaned forwards again too, his hand resting on his desk. “If Lady Rimes had wished you to know, Lord Sparks, she would have told you. She has not, sir, and so I must respect her choice.”

The blood drained from Geoff’s head, blurring his vision, while his stomach growled. Stopping to break his fast had not been among his priorities, but the after effects of the alcohol he’d imbibed last night turned his stomach and fogged his head.

He refused to faint like a feeble woman. Resting his forehead on the heel of his palm, his elbow pressing into his thigh, he took a breath. Where the hell had she gone? Why?

The room was weighted with silence. He knew Larkin watched him.

What to do?

“I’m sorry, my Lord, but if that is the only reason you have come…” You might as well go. Geoff heard the unspoken words.

He looked up. “Do you know how long she’s gone for? When will she be back?” Larkin merely shook his head.

In the years Geoff had known Violet, she’d rarely left London. The only times she had gone, were to follow entertainment; like last year, she’d gone to Bath. Perhaps she’d gone to a house party. But this didn’t seem like that. If it was simply a house party somewhere, why hadn’t she said?

The last time he’d seen her, when he’d left her at her bedchamber door, her fingers had run across the stubble growing on his cheek and she’d said, “Goodbye Geoffrey.”

She had not said, I will see you this evening, or, later. It had just been goodbye. They’d made no plans.

It had meant goodbye.

But why? There was no point in looking to Larkin for an answer. It was like attempting to draw blood from a stone.

Despondency weighting down his limbs, Geoff stood. “Thank you.” He had nothing to thank the man for but the words  just slipped from his lips.

When he left, his feet led him back to Violet’s house. He did not expect to find her there. Yet he had to be there, because, where-else would he go.

The knocker was still in place. That didn’t make sense either. Why pretend she was within when she was not?

He lifted it and rapped it down on the iron plaque beneath it thrice. Then stood back a little.

Selford answered it, his eyebrows rising as he opened the door. “Lord Sparks?” There was a note of pity as well as a question in his voice.

Geoffrey pushed past him to enter, shoving the door aside, just like last night.

He’d got nothing from the solicitor but Selford had said some things yesterday. If he pushed the man perhaps he’d say more…

“Where?” Geoff began as Selford shut the door.

“I do not know, sir.”

“Selford…”

“I swear, my Lord, I can tell you nothing other than my Lady has gone.”

Gone. The word had such finality.

“Did she say when she was coming back? How long is she to be away?”

“My Lord…” Selford said pleadingly.

“Selford, you of all people know how things were. I cannot understand this. She said nothing to me. How long has she gone for?

“I cannot say, my Lord.”

“Give me something. Please, Selford?”

Worry passed across the butler’s stern expression. “My Lord.”

“Selford.” Geoff heard the note of plea in his voice.

The butler frowned and then in a low voice answered, “She is not intending to return, my Lord.”

“Not intending…” A wash of disbelief swept through Geoff. He moved to the stairs and sat on the second step, feeling faint again as the room darkened at the edges of his vision.

Had he done something wrong? He’d never spoken of his affection. He’d believed his feelings returned. Should he have said something? Would she have stayed if he’d spoken? But surely she knew. He’d not hidden it from his eyes, or his touch. Did she just not care?

His gaze lifted to Selford again. “Tell me what she said? Do you know why she has gone?”

“I should not, my Lord…” Selford’s statement ended in silence, but Geoff could see the man’s resolve was weakening. He looked uncertain.

“Tell me…”

“My Lord, I –”

“Tell me!” Geoff’s pitch grew more forceful.

“Oh.” Selford’s voice dropped to little more than a whisper. He was going to talk. Geoff stood.

“The house is to be shut up, sir. The knocker has been left in place because Lady Rimes asked that it remain so for a few weeks, as if she were still here, and then the house and everything is to be sold.”

Geoff’s brow crumpled. I don’t understand. “She has taken only her personal things though. Has she gone to stay somewhere then?”

“I cannot say, sir.” Because he didn’t know. Geoff could see it in Selford’s expression, the man was worried too, and that was probably the only reason he was talking.

“Her Ladyship took the carriage, but then separated from it at an inn,” Selford continued without prompting, as though now he was talking he was glad to have someone to share this with. “It was sent back, along with the maid, and no word of where her Ladyship might be contacted.”

Geoff felt sick. What on earth was she doing? His hand rubbed over his face. Damn. Damn! He looked at Selford. “She sent the carriage back. May I speak with those who accompanied her?”

“They were dismissed, my Lord. Everyone, bar myself, was given notice and I do not have their forwarding details. I am to be let go once the house is sold.”

Geoffrey’s frown felt deeper. He’d learn nothing more here. “Thank you, Selford. If you hear any more please write and let me know. This is my address.” He handed Selford his calling card and as he did so felt the miniature of Violet he always carried in his breast pocket. He’d claimed it one night when he’d stayed here. He’d taken it off the wall and insisted she let him keep it. She had laughed and conceded, and let him take a tiny lock of her hair too. He’d had that sealed in the back. It had been beside his heart ever since, and she knew it was there. How could she not know his feelings? Was she laughing at his absurd devotion?

“Selford, one more question, when she left did she use the carriage with her coat of arms.”

“Yes, sir.”

At least she’d made one error then, if she wished to disappear. There was a chance he’d find her.

~

This is the  story of two of the characters from the 2nd book in the Marlow Intrigues Series ~ The Passionate Love of a Rake.

The true story of a courtesan, who inspired The Illicit Love of a Courtesan, which I’ve been telling every Sunday, will continue alongside this.

Jane Lark is a writer of authentic, passionate and emotional Historical and New Adult Romance stories.

See below on the side bar for details of Jane’s books, and Jane’s website www.janelark.co.uk to learn more about Jane. Or click  ‘like’ on Jane’s Facebook  page to see photo’s and learn historical facts from the Georgian, Regency and Victorian eras, which Jane publishes there. You can also follow Jane on twitter at @janelark