The Truth by Jane Lark ~ a free book exclusive to my blog ~ part forty-nine

The Truth

Posted as a gift of my time and thoughts to the readers of my books, thank you for the lovely messages of appreciation,

© Jane Lark Publishing rights belong to Jane Lark,

this novel should not be recreated in any form without prior consent from Jane Lark

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18 ,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33,34,35,36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48

Richard

“Are your possessions ready to go ashore, sir?”

“They are. You may have them moved.” Richard faced his quartermaster, meeting Mark’s gaze. “Also you may remove yourself from the ship. You are relieved of your service.”

Mark’s skin, which was tan from their weeks at sea, turned white, and his mouth opened to speak but no words came out.

“Did you think there would be no reprisal?” The anger inside Richard glowed like ash at the bottom of a hearth. He did not think his fury would ever be extinguished, his loss and remorse would certainly never cease hurting him and so if this was cruelly vindictive he did not care. “You should have remembered it is not Joseph who owns this ship. However, I am not dismissing you. It will serve as punishment enough to tie you to the land for a few months.” Mark’s colour returned as Richard continued. “You know, I take it, that if you had not intervened, Miss Martin would be my wife.

“Send someone to hire a carriage and have my own and Miss Martin’s luggage removed to the dock then report to my shipping office. You will work there as a clerk for now.”

“Sir.” Mark bowed saying nothing. At least he still had the common sense not to risk raising Richard’s anger any farther.

“Go then,” Richard barked with a look that told Mark to run before his sentence of administration worsened.

Mark bowed again then turned away.

Richard turned too, to face the cabin doors. Emerald was in her cabin. In minutes they would be ashore. His heart hit like a fist into his ribs.

He glanced about the other ships in the dock. Their masts rocked as they swayed on the water. This had been his life for years. The sea. Trade. But now he was going back to a world he had run from so many years ago he could hardly remember it. He had been away too long to even imagine the scene of his return and he had not even tried because he had not wanted to think of it. That had been easy enough with Emerald and her mother distracting his thoughts. They had kept his focus on other things than himself. But now…

He was not a man who suffered with fear, it was the reason he had come this far; he would take any risk because he was not afraid of fate or failure. Yet today, the rate of his heartbeat and the clasping feeling in his stomach and his chest shouted fear. It had been creeping up on him in the last few hours. Whispering as he had tried to sleep and then gripping about his throat today.

In his mind’s eye he saw Emerald talking to the others and not looking at him.

Last night the knowledge that he had lost her had merged with memories from the past becoming tangled up like rope. “You are not worthy!” “You will never match up!” “No one shall respect you!” His rational mind had been fighting those words since he had woken and his emotions had mingled with them and applied the words to Emerald.

But he was worthy of her. He was. And he was going to sit her in that damned carriage in a moment and talk sense into her. He must make her believe that he loved her. She had to marry him, he could not live with any other conclusion.

The crewmen walked past carrying his possessions in trunks. He had no idea how long he would be in England.

“There’s a swanky carriage on the dock, Mr Farrow, sir. Cap’ain’s gone down to speak to some posh looking ‘ouse-servant. Lilly-livered looking ‘e is. Said ‘e was after y’ur ship, Sir. Mr Bishop told ‘im ‘e’d found it.”

Richard turned and looked at the sailor. “Thank you, Smith.” He was not interested in their gossip. Joseph could handle whoever it was… But.

But damn.

A thought slipped through Richard’s mind. Swanky…

He turned to look. His hands gripping the rail as suspicion lanced through his chest.

Bloody hell. No.

The glossy black carriage that stood a few feet away from the bottom of the gangplank had a mahogany and satin wood motif etched into the panel of the door depicting a gilded coat of arms – and the carriage driver had been looking for Richard’s ship…

The dock was a crush of men who were busy unloading or loading but Richard saw Joseph speaking to a man in grey livery who stood with a stiff back. It was one of those servants who thought themselves important because they were attached to such a grand man. Richard would guess that grand man was inside the carriage too. The conclusion was obvious.

Richard strode across the deck to reach the gangplank, setting men out of his way with a firm hand on their shoulders. His gloved hand slid over the rope as he walked down. “Mr Swallow!” he shouted when he neared the dock. “Mr Swallow!”

Joseph looked back as Richard stepped on to the cobble. He knew from the look in Joseph’s eyes that his guess was right.

“Miss Martin’s, relatives are here,” Joseph said as Richard got closer to him.

Damn it. For God sake. For years fate had been on his side but now it seemed to have turned against him. It is because I am back here. The evil in his head whispered. He ignored the thought and looked at the servant, fighting the urge to throw his fist at someone.

“Since receiving your letter and that from Mrs Martin, they have been awaiting the ship’s arrival.” Joseph continued to explain. “They were notified when we reached London last night and have come today knowing we would dock.”

Richard did not bother speaking with the servant, he strode past him to the carriage and opened the door. Warm air swept out, with the scent of idle luxury that recalled memories of Richard’s boyhood. There were hot bricks on the floor under the occupants feet, and the impeccably dressed man on one side held a stick with a silver top that contained lavender. The Duke of Sunderland. He appeared to be around Richard’s age.

On the other side of the carriage was an older man and a woman of lesser rank by the look of their clothes.

“Your Grace,” Richard stated, letting go of the door and bowing slightly. If he wished to win Emerald back now he must do so through her family, they were now the damned gatekeepers and she was meant to marry this duke. But he had not expected the Duke to be young. Nor expected the sudden kick of jealousy as the man got up and then climbed out of the carriage. “I am Mr Farrow, owner of the shipping company. It was I who wrote to you of Miss Martin’s situation. It is good of you to come in person.”

The Duke offered his hand to Richard. He had a strong handshake, he was blonde haired, blue eyed and square jawed and Richard had an instant dislike of them. He did not want to let Emerald ride off with this man.

He wished he had not sent those damned letters.

“It is the least I could do in the circumstances.”

Richard had deemed the Duke a pompous ass in his mind, but probably unjustly, the man had come to the dock to meet Emerald.

“I have brought Miss Martin’s uncle with me,” the Duke said, “her mother’s brother, Mr Coomb and his wife.” Mr Coomb and his wife were currently climbing out of the carriage.

“I am pleased to make your acquaintance, Mr Coomb, Mrs Coomb,” Richard bowed his head to them. “Miss Martin’s luggage is yet to be unloaded but she is ready to disembark.” What else was he to say. Go away.

“Splendid.” The Duke said. “Well then, that is excellent. Would someone fetch her, or should we come on board? She can come with us now and her luggage be sent on. The burden is off your shoulders, Mr Farrow.”

Richard did not want the burden taken from him, the idea of it shuddered through him. Nor did he like passing her off to strangers. They did not know her and she would not know them. He had imagined taking her to the mans’ house and being asked to stay and he had intended to accept that offer for a few days until she was settled… To just let her go….

Then there was the new fear that she would see something in this man that she had not seen in him. The fear that had been pressing about his neck on the deck was now strangling him with a firm hold. He was losing her forever. But he had no choice. Any complaint may bring about her ruin. He should have no interest. He should want her gone. She ought to be nothing but a passenger to him. “I shall fetch her.” Richard bowed again, more deeply, though it cut at his pride, but he did it for Emerald’s sake. He did it because he would need to win her back through the Duke. Some how… There must be a way. He did it because Emerald was more important to him than anything else.

When he turned back towards the ship he caught Joseph’s gaze and saw the look that recognised Richard’s unusual submissive approach,and the reason for it.

Richard’s strides were long and quick as he clasped at the ropes on either side and climbed the gangplank, wanting as long as he could get with Emerald.

Numerous men amongst the crew had stopped what they were doing and were looking at him. His bowing on the dock had screamed to them what had been going on. Now the whole ship knew his interest was fixed in Emerald’s direction. The only people who did not know were her family.

He did not bother barking at the men, but focused his mind on the minutes he would have with Emerald.

Richard stood before her cabin obviously about to send the men in to collect her luggage. Richard lifted a hand to tell him to wait. “The Duke of Sunderland is here to collect Miss Martin. Please to talk to his servant to find out the address for her luggage. They will have it sent on later.”

Richard knocked on the cabin, his mind screaming. You have lost her! You will never see her again! Never!

To be continued…

The Marlow Intrigues: Perfect for lovers of period drama

The Tainted Love of a Captain #8 – The last book in the Marlow Intrigues series out in May and available to preorder

The Lost Love of Soldier ~ The Prequel #1 ~ A Christmas Elopement began it all

The Illicit Love of a Courtesan #2

The Passionate Love of a Rake #3

The Scandalous Love of a Duke #4

The Dangerous Love of a Rogue #5

The Jealous Love of a Scoundrel #5.5

The Persuasive Love of a Libertine #5.75 now included in Jealous Love, (or free if you can persuade Amazon to price match with Kobo ebooks)

The Secret Love of a Gentleman #6

The Reckless Love of an Heir #7

Jane’s books can be ordered from most booksellers in paperback

Go to the index

For

the story of the real courtesan who inspired The Illicit Love of a Courtesan,
another free short story, about characters from book #2, A Lord’s Scandalous Love,
the prequel excerpts for book #3 The Scandalous Love of a Duke

Jane Lark is a writer of authentic, passionate and emotional Historical and New Adult Romance stories, and the author of a No.1 bestselling Historical Romance novel in America, ‘The Illicit Love of a Courtesan’.Click here to find out more about Jane’s books, and see Jane’s website www.janelark.co.uk to learn more about Jane. Or click ‘like’ on Jane’s Facebook page to see photo’s and learn historical facts from the Georgian, Regency and Victorian eras, which Jane publishes there. You can also follow Jane on twitter at @janelark

The Truth by Jane Lark ~ a free book exclusive to my blog ~ part forty-seven

The Truth

© Jane Lark Publishing rights belong to Jane Lark,

this should not be recreated in any form without prior consent from Jane Lark

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18 ,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33,34,35,36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46

Emerald

Emerald’s hands were balled so tightly into fists her fingernails pressed into the skin of her palms as she glared at Richard. Hateful man! Liar!

His expression had shifted into that look that was all business and all powerful. Not to be challenged. Richard Farrow owner of the world. He was not her owner!

He was not powerful, he was cold and and empty and cruel!

“You said you loved me!” He did not love her. He did not even know what love was. “Love protects and it cares, it does not lie and hurt!” she concluded with a desperate cry.

She stared at his brown,unfathomable, eyes as he stood as stiff as stone. Did the Richard Farrow she had known in the privacy of his cabin even exist or was he a part of the lie.

“I am going now, Emerald,” he was speaking in his curt business voice. “We will talk when you are calmer.”

He was domineering and arrogant, scolding her as though she was a child. How could she have loved him? “I do not want to speak to you. I shall not. And I shall not dine with you. I do not even want to see you!” How could she have loved him?

He turned to the door. “As you wish.” Then he opened it and walked out with that blank look of his, tall and stiff as a board, as though anything could be thrown at him and it would not be able to touch him.

“Miss Martin will have her dinner served in her cabin, Mr Bishop!” She heard Richard shout across the deck.

A realisation whipped hard at her. That was it. It was over. Whatever had been between her and Richard Farrow was done with.

She sat on the edge of the bunk that had been her mother’s as Rita watched her, and then the anger turned to tears. She had loved him. She did love him. But he had lied and betrayed her. She had been caught up in his whirlwind and now she had been dropped down. She did not cry because she had lost him, though, she cried because she had lost her mother and she longed to be at home with her father.

It was probably an hour later that Mr Bishop knocked, when she opened the door he held out a tray with her dinner on it. “I am not hungry but Rita will be grateful for it. Thank you,” she said as she took the tray. Then she shut the door on Mr Bishop’s guilty expression.

“Miss Martin?” Dr Steel knocked soon after that. “Mr Bishop expressed some concern…”

“I do not wish to speak to you, Dr Steel,” she responded defiantly but Rita still rose and opened the door for him. When he stepped in Emerald did not get up from the bed but only looked up. “Please leave me alone?”

“Miss Martin,” he began “do try to understand. I know why you are upset, but there was no intent to distress you. Shall I fetch you some laudanum, it–”

“I am grieving, Dr Steel, not ill, is grief not natural. I do not need to be drugged into silence.”

“That is not what I meant, I–”

“Leave,” Emerald stated impatiently, pointing at the door. “I do not want your help, you have given me enough of it, thank you.”

Her evening was spent with Rita, in an unbearable quiet, as next door the men talked. She trusted none of them. They had all played their part in Richard’s farce. While Rita ate, Emerald lay on the bunk listening to the men talk in deep tones. Richard laughed thrice, but it was only Richard laughing, the sound taunting her through the wall. He knew she could hear which meant he did not care.

When the men had retired the sounds in the dark cabin were the creaks of the wooden boards and ropes of the ship as it rocked back and forth and to and fro. Her eyes looked through the darkness to the door into the day cabin. Had Richard been arrogant enough to go in there and await her? Or was he in his bunk, naked under the sheet and fast asleep uncaring whether she was there or not.

He did not know how to love, but he had known how to love her body and how to make her body love him. Her body ached to the depth of her bones for him. But his mistress was probably still aching for him in Calcutta too. That was a part of the lies he had told. He was not real, nothing about him had been real. You do not hurt someone you love! You do not lie to them!

She did not think she would ever forget their short affair. She would never be free of Richard in her mind. But she would be physically free of him – because if she did not break this tie to him now his sort of love and desire to conquer would destroy her entirely.

It was when dawn broke that she finally fell asleep, while she remembered the nights of her illness, when Richard had held her hand as her mother lay close, still alive. Now she knew that he had sat beside her knowing her mother was dying and he had not spoken of it.

Richard

When the sun rose Richard had hardly slept. He’d spent the hours of the night staring at his internal cabin door waiting for it to open – praying it would open and his siren would slip through it. The ethereal creature he would never be able to capture in his hand.

You will never have her now. His mind had continually whispered. But he refused to heed it. She had come to him before, she would come back, she could not hold out against him. The feelings they had shared could not be denied. And besides, how the hell could she be hurt by his relationship with June? What he’d had with June had been more like a business agreement a matter of the head, and other places. But what he had shared with Emerald has touched his soul not only his heart. But the girl shifted like sand under his feet. He never knew where he was with her. Perhaps that was the draw – she spoke of adventure but she was an adventure.

“An adventure that is over.” He said the words to the man who shaved his chin as he looked at himself in the mirror. No, she would break.

She did not join them at the table for breakfast. Mark said she was still asleep. But later Richard saw her walking on the deck beside Mark as he stood on the poop deck. She did not look up to see if he was there, she looked at Mark, her fingers clinging on to the cloth of his coat sleeve. Emerald was a coldly determined beast when she wished to be. Richard, however, was not inclined to ignore her. He gripped the rail and watched her as she walked back and forth.

As soon as Miss Martin’s exhibition in stubbornness was over Richard invited Mark into the day cabin and told him that for the rest of the journey he could eat with the men below deck. “As Miss Martin is no longer joining us at table.” Joseph’s eyebrows lifted when he heard about what had been said but Joseph may be the Captain, yet Richard owned the damned ship. He may not be able to control Emerald but he could control all else.

He set about stamping his authority on them all then. Ordering Joseph to tasks, just to remind the man who was really in charge here. And yes it was with a vindictive desire to make Joseph and Mark pay for the loss they’d forced upon him. It was their fault that Emerald had turned her back on him.

For God sake she could be carrying his child. The bloody woman. He doubted even if she had fallen with child that the scandal would persuade Emerald Martin into anything she did not wish.

On the second day of her cuts his seething turned its direction on to the crew. Any man who looked at him for a moment too long was threatened with a flogging. He was also tempted to stop Mark from the duty of looking after her and setting Philip to the task. But Richard did not go that far that would have been punishing Emerald and even in his anger he knew this was not her fault.

He should have waited and not let her into his bed. He should have spoken of his feelings and not acted upon them. He should have persuaded her mother to tell her. He should. He should. He should! The words rattled through his head at night, a hundred things he should have done differently and often he physically itched to go to her, to knock on her cabin door and persuade her to forgive him. He often imagined how he would do it. How he would kiss her and feel her succumb to his pleas for forgiveness, whispering the words against her throat. He did not go, but he often woke in the night, sweating and wrapped in his sheets, with the image of Emerald’s naked body instilled in his mind’s eye.

The days passed and she held out against him. Ignoring his existence. He watched her less, cutting her as she was slashing at him.

Occasionally as she walked with Mark she would laugh in a carefree way, as if she wanted to draw Richard’s attention. It was forced of course as his humour was when he sat at the dining table amongst his judgmental sour faced senior crew. She did not want to draw his attention, she was only doing it, as he was, to pretend that all was well.

The foolish thing was, had his men not interfered, all would have been well. She had promised to marry him. But now he had taken her innocence and that was all.

When he did watch her with Mark he could not believe but days ago she had been naked beneath him. It had become a thing of dreams and not fact . And each day they drew closer to England where he would have to let her go.

To be continued…

The Marlow Intrigues: Perfect for lovers of period drama, like Victoria and Poldark.

The Lost Love of Soldier ~ The Prequel #1 ~ A Christmas Elopement began it all

The Illicit Love of a Courtesan #2

The Passionate Love of a Rake #3

The Scandalous Love of a Duke #4

The Dangerous Love of a Rogue #5

The Jealous Love of a Scoundrel #5.5

The Persuasive Love of a Libertine #5.75 now included in Jealous Love, (or free if you can persuade Amazon to price match with Kobo ebooks)

The Secret Love of a Gentleman #6

The Reckless Love of an Heir #7

Coming soon, the last part in the story, The Tainted Love of a Captain

Jane’s books can be ordered from most booksellers in paperback and, yes, there are more to come

Go to the index

For

the story of the real courtesan who inspired The Illicit Love of a Courtesan,
another free short story, about characters from book #2, A Lord’s Scandalous Love,
the prequel excerpts for book #3 The Scandalous Love of a Duke