Lady Caroline Lamb’s whole disgraceful truth… Part fourteen… Caro falls with a child

Sorry, it has been a few weeks since I last shared a part of Caroline’s true story, but I have had writing deadlines, so I had to press pause, but anyway, now Caro is back, and I will just dive into her story today. Here is the history of this series of posts for anyone joining today and as always if you are a regular follower, just skip to where I have highlighted the text bold.

I was drawn to Lady Caroline Lamb, who lived in the Regency era, because Harriette Wilson the courtesan who wrote her memoirs in 1825, mentions the Ponsonby and the Lamb family frequently. Also the story of Caroline’s affair with Lord Byron captured my imagination. Caroline was also a writer, she wrote poems, and novels in her later life. I have read Glenarvon.

Her life story and her letters sucked me further into the reality of the Regency world which is rarely found in modern-day books. Jane Austen wrote fictional, ‘country’ life as she called it, and I want to write fictional ‘Regency’ life rather than simply romance. But what I love when I discover gems in my research like Caroline’s story is sharing the real story behind my fiction here too.

Lady Caroline Lamb was born Caroline Ponsonby, on the 13^th November 1785. She was the daughter of Frederick Ponsonby, Viscount Duncannon, and Henrietta (known as Harriet), the sister of the infamous Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire.

Caroline became an official lady when her grandfather died, and her father became Earl of Bessborough earning her the honorific title ‘Lady’ and she grew up in a world of luxury, even Marie Antoinette was a family friend. Caroline was always renowned as being lively, and now it is suspected she had a condition called bipolar. As a child she earned herself a title as a ‘brat’, by such things as telling her aunt Georgiana that Edward Gibbon’s (the author of The Decline and fall of the Roman Empire) face was ‘so ugly it had frightened her puppy’.

And when she grew up Byron once described Caroline as “the cleverest most agreeable, absurd, amiable, perplexing, dangerous fascinating little being that lives now or ought to have lived 2000 years ago.”

When the Caroline and William began their married life, in their private apartment in the William’s parents’ home in London, they had an income from his father of £2,200 to live upon; which was in those days a considerable amount of money to a servant, but not for the aristocracy who were trying to uphold appearances, and especially for a young bride like Caroline who had a desire for the theatrical and liked to impress. She employed her own pages and dressed them in a livery she’d designed, with scarlet waistcoats, breeches, and a brown Hussar jacket, trimmed in red with six rows of round silver buttons. (I love Caro’s eccentricity – but it would probably not have seemed so eccentric then, flare and style was the DNA of elite society in England in the early 1800s, everyone wished to make their mark, and be admired).

You can image then that the couple were not pleased that when they were still only recently wed Edward’s sister’s wedding began to be planned. Emily Lamb was to be married on the 20th July to Lord Cowper, a wealthy, powerful, much older man. Emily was thrilled about the marriage, and must have bragged exuberantly. She wrote to her mother, and signed her name with a ring around it, which she called a ‘mythical ring‘ of ‘unaccountable power‘ – now do you see what I mean about the desire to impress. They were all at it.

William, being a Lamb, as I described in the last part, of course used to speak to Caro in ways which were not considered genteel. In the first months of their marriage he spoke to her about his previous love-affairs, including an infatuation for Caroline’s cousin, Lady Morpeth, whom he had spoken of his feelings too. You can imagine who wounded that must have made Caroline, feel and there are several letters in existence, in which she writes to her cousin about the things William has said, “I often talk to of you to William & am more delighted than I can tell you with the Frankness and affection with which he speaks of you. We agreed that if he had denied having felt a very strong attachment to you he might have been less guilty of of the charge of inconstancy but would have had many more faults to answer for— he is frankness itself., However & does not scruple to say he loved you very sincerely...” and perhaps this was a response to a charge of jealousy. “You are deteremined I find to write such wicked letters that I must either give you up for ever or scold you very—— jealous—— merciful heaven what words! If I was jealous you should drink slow poison every morning and if I was jealous I should hate you instead of which somehow or other you know I L….o….v….e you lady and therefore no more—-” And I love the way Caroline writes, with numerous expressions of her words.

However Little G, now Lady Morpeth, remained Caroline’s friend and her closest confident. It was G Caro asked for advice when she fell pregnant.

“am I with child G tell me fairly what you think & how you felt when you were so first, had you ever little unaccountable pains many fears that you were going to miscarry were you nervous apt to be frightened very hungry every day very sleepy and very languid and did a great deal of exercise give you a pain in your back, were you restless——-pray tell me also for I have nobody else to ask though it seems rather an extraordinary question to ask but is it bad for you to sleep (Caro underlined the word sleep in her letter) with your husband at the time in the most significant sense of the word—I am anxious to know for I must let nothing be done that can hurt my darling boy who I love already better than any thing”

I think Caroline’s letter to G is a wonderful insight into the words of a young Regency wife. But then Caroline gives a little more insight into her and William’s married life and how she felt about her husband.

“We are reading tolerably little & I see too little of William—today I lead a quite pleasant life but today for the first time I went out to shoot with him it was pretty to see the Dogs & my beautiful husband with all his black hair over his brows & a great colour from the eagerness & and animation he felt pacing over all the stubble fields with his gun on his shoulder & and me on his arm sometimes we rode & and then he brave and stoutly led my Horse. I was delighted till I saw one partridge killed and another wounded which though at too great a distance really to see I imagined & greatly disgusted I went away.” Caro was such a romantic, but romanticism was the culture of the age. Both for men and women. “Tell Car I am still as I was at Holy Well that is I am convinced the Mother of a beautiful boy. I am sure I feel the boy move—

Burn this immediately & if you tell Lord Morpeth a word of what I have said to you tremble at what I shall repeat to William” Thank heavens G did not burn it! I love these letters.

Poor Caroline’s pregnancy was not an easy one though, she records in a later letter to G “I was allarmed for I grew languid & had pains in my back weakness all over and ceased to be sick they confine me all day in an horizontal posture to a couch and in general make me dine upstairs.” There is another element of this letter though which I love. In my books I often describe affectionate couples, and I think it probably would not have been the case in the era all that much, and yet I’ve always believed there must have been some couples who were openly in love and affectionate, hear Caroline’s words “Lord and Lady Aberdeen flirt together au notre mode—Lady Abercon says if you will not repeat the joke “I come out from dinner and am almost always obliged to pull my veil over my face on one side Kat and Lord Aberdeen set on an arm chair so close that it is no matter whether they are embracing or no for a I defy a person to find out when they are not & if I turn the other way I see Caro and William very comfortably gone to bed in another part of the room on the couch”

Another thing I was thrilled to hear in Caroline’s letters to G, was an admission from Caro that they shared a bed every night, something which was not thought normal for the aristocracy but I put in my novels regardless. “since I wrote William left me for two days & a night for his detestable yoemanry dinner—I did not know before how cold and melancholy it was to sleep by yourself.”

Sadly though in the January 1806 on the 31st , Caro went into premature labour, she was right, it was a boy, and he was born on the 1st February 1806 but he lived only for a few hours, too small to survive, and I think what must have made the whole experience even worse for her, when she relied on William so much, he was not at home when she miscarried. He returned home to find his wife in bed, mourning the loss of their child and recovering from a traumatic labour. It must have struck at the foundation of their marriage. I wonder if Caro had had this child and if it had been fit and well, if that may have changed the outcome, if they futures would have run a different course. I do find Caroline’s life story very sad…

All being well, no deadlines… so more next week

If you would like to read my historical romance story that was inspired by Caroline’s life… it’s just coming up for pre-order The Dangerous Love of a Rogue, will be out in ebook in January and can be pre-ordered for Paperback release in March.

But if you can’t wait for Regency stories, then grab one of my books many of them are currently on offer in the UK from 69p and in the USA from $1.99 and there are couple of little extras for free…

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Lady Caroline Lamb’s whole disgraceful truth… Part twelve ~ Married into a love match!

The last time I wrote about Caro, it was to tell you about William Lamb’s proposal, in the middle of a mourning period for his brother at the moment he became heir to his father.

The wonderful thing is that unlike the majority of Caro’s and William’s family, they were in love. His proposal letter made his feelings very clear to Caroline, and many years later William is recorded as telling none other than Queen Victoria that “I do believe if I had been refused, I should have died of it; it would have killed me...”

Likewise Lady Caroline’s family recorded how smitten Caroline was and how torn they were. Lady Bessborough, Caro’s mother, Harriet, saw William as hedonistic, (as if she could talk) but he promised to reform and abide by the will of his potential future mother-in-law. Harriet consulted her sister Georgiana, who described in a letter to Lady Spencer, their mother, how upset Harriet was over Caroline’s choice… and yet Caroline was adamant that she loved William Lamb… “such evidence of the most boundless attachment, that I really believe-so does the Duke, that any check would be productive of madness or death…”

So William and Caro were equally obsessed, and madly in love….

But before I go on, for people new to my blog, here is a little background to this series of posts, and for my followers, just skip to the end of the italics where I have, as usual, marked it in bold 😉

When Caro and William obtained the final agreement, there is another little true life tale which is a brilliant story to reflect on when I write. Instead of encouraging William to come to the Bessborough’s house to press his suit, Caro asked him to meet her and her family at a performance of Hamlet in Drury Lane. A visit to the Theatre then was not as it is now, and I have written about that before, people met friends there and talked through entire performances, so this is not an odd request from Caro. William would have probably knocked on the door of her family’s Theatre box, and from the descriptions, I imagine him sitting next to Lady Bessborough,who was the one to be persuaded, whispering about his affection for Caro, and making promises of faithfulness, and promising he had the funds to keep her well. His conversation and manner were described as “warm and animated.” You can imagine him using hand gestures and leaning forward expressing his commitment and strength of feeling, and his eyes and his tone of voice probably showed the level of his affection for Caro.

Harriet felt pressured to say yes, and yet the final thing that clinched it was that Caro and William had chosen a public place for what was obviously a very personal and very emotional conversation to any onlooker, and with Lady Bessboroughs, and the Duchess of Devonshire’s reputations for infidelity, and the Lambs reputations for rakishness, it was assumed by some that Caro and William were in the middle of an affair… and so Harriet immediately declared that they were engaged…

That night when Harriet and Georgiana returned to the Devonshire’s town house, they shared Caroline’s news with the Marquess of Hartingdon, ‘Hart’, Georgiana’s only son, who had always believed he would marry Caroline, he was so distressed that she’d chosen someone else he had to be sedated.

The next morning William arrived at Cavendish Square, sure of his success and the family’s agreement, and made his formal request to Lord Bessborough – see again – so much in Romance novel’s is not written as it is in true life – most of us have the call on the father coming first… This is why I love researching through letters and memoirs, you obtain such a rich, real perspective, and you will see this slipping into my books more and more. Caro’s and William’s life has loads of influence on my next historical, but back to Caro.

Her mother’s, her aunt’s, The Duke of Devonshire, and her father’s consent achieved, there was one more person to persuade, ‘I listen for the postman’s knock (who knew the postman knocked in the 1800s 😉 ) with cold hands, and indescribable anxiety. Your peace of mind is I know so connected with yr. dear gdmama’s happiness‘ (that is his abbreviations not mine, the Victorian’s introduced absolute adherence to consistent grammar and spelling 😉 ) The Georgriana’s wrote as they wished – love those people – so much simpler for those of us with dyslexia.

But anyway, of course Caro wished for Lady Spencer’s approval, she had brought Caro up as much as her mother, and Caro was very fond of her.

Clearly William had written and was awaiting an answer, but the family came to Caro’s and William’s assistance. Caro’s brother John (the John who later was the man Harriett Wilson the courtesan fell in love with – society was really not that large), Caro’s uncle Lord Spencer, and Lord Morpeth (Little G’s new husband) all called to add their voice to praise William as Caro’s choice. “The are all wonderfully afraid of my sentiments.” recorded Lady Spencer, describing this barrage of persuasion to a friend.

Finally Caroline visited herself, with a now resigned Hart. “The Dr child was on her knees the tears streaming from her eyes & repeating that she wd not marry without my consent.”

Her grandmother was not convinced, and said she would not approve the match, and challenged the requirement for her consent, saying it was hardly necessary anyway as it was settled.

Caro then read her a letter from William, promising to devote his life to making Caro happy. Lady Spencer conceded only to accept the marriage, and only to accept William once he had proved his affection for Caro.

The Queen and the Prince of Wales approval was given then, and then the special licence was acquired from Archbishop of Canterbury and as all the preparations rushed forward, for fear of another war with France, Caro stayed with her mother at Holywell House, while William lived at Brocket Hall and road the half hour between the two daily to visit Caro.

The night before the wedding the Devonshire’s held a party honouring Caroline, and she received gifts from her family, a burnt-topaz cross from Harryo, bracelets from Hartington, a pearl cross from her Uncle’s paramour, Bess, and Little G (now nine months pregnant) gave Caro an aquamarine clasp and some wrought gold amulets and cameos… While William took an opportunity to give her grandmother a portrait of Caro to dig a little into her affections, which earned him some credit.

Then it was the day of the wedding. They were married in the Bessborough’s residence, No. 12 Cavendish Square, on the 3rd of June 1805, and Caro’s wedding dress was beautifully described by her aunt Georgiana. It had fine lace sleeves, and lace high-up around her neck, giving it an Eastern appearance. She wore one strand of pearls, and under her veil the aquamarine clasp that Little G had given her at the party. Caro is described as looking ‘light and beautifull’ as she walked steadily to join William, and exchanged her vows without hesitation. (A scene directly from a romance novel, but TRUE, how wonderful).

But after the wedding the emotion of the day became too much for Caroline. She loved her family just as much as she loved William, and then to add a beautifully romantic real scene to the end of today’s post, how did William react when the day became too much for her – he is described as walking through the noisy crowd surrounding her and simply picking her up. Then he carried his prize, his petite little Caro whom he loved, and had waited to claim for four years, out to their waiting carriage…

😀 ❤

And so next week the stories of their married life begin…

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